Dear Melissa,
My son will start kindergarten this fall. He has been in private Occupational Therapy for the past 2 years addressing sensory and behavioral difficulties and mild developmental delay. My son’s OT says he is doing so well and advises us to decrease our therapy from 2x per week to 1x per week when school starts. Although he doesn’t have any specific diagnosis, should I let the school know ahead of time about his delays? Or, do I just let him begin and see how kindergarten goes? I don’t want him to have a negative stigma, but I also want to set him up for success. Any ideas?
What? A parent is worried about sending his/her little one to kindergarten? You are not alone! I think I get asked this question by EVERY kindergarten parent this time of year! Yes, most parents worry about their child’s first day of school. However, if your child has been identified as “delayed” in the past, this can cause even more anxiety than usual. While I have listed several resources below, this decision is a tricky one and is largely based on your own attitudes, beliefs, and preferences. I think this is a good time to collaborate with your spouse, other family members, your child’s OT and any other adult who you trust who may know your child well. Because there are no easy answers, I will simply state the pros and cons of the disclosure as I see it.
If you decide to talk to the school, you may ask your spouse or child’s OT to join you for a meeting with the school principal before school starts. They will likely not know the identity of your child’s kindergarten teacher, but a kindergarten teacher representative can attend as well. These meetings often occur the week or two before school starts. In this meeting, you can discuss your child’s strengths/weaknesses as well as any modifications that have worked well in the past that may help (behavior charts, picture schedules, timers, sensory diet, etc). Though you generally can’t request a specific teacher, you can also discuss what parenting/teaching styles work best for your child, and the school can try to assign the best match for your child. A quick poll of my friends who are teachers offers a resounding “YES, please let us know ahead of time!” The downside to having this conversation is that you have potentially given the child a “label” before the teacher has had the opportunity to see your child and make her own judgments.
If you decide not to talk to the school, the teacher gets to observe your child with a fresh set of eyes, just as she does every other kiddo in that classroom on the first day of school. The CDC reports that 1 in 6 school-aged children have a developmental delay. And, approximately half of children with delays are not identified when they start kindergarten. Therefore, any good kindergarten teacher should be very aware that the kiddos in her class may have difficulties that have not yet been identified. Maybe she will pick up on the fact that your child may need a bit of extra help. Or maybe all those years of therapy will make your child SO prepared for school that he just fits right in. (Because that’s the goal of therapy, right?) OR, maybe your child will be completely overwhelmed by the natural chaos of the new kindergarten environment and completely shut down. It is a bit of a gamble…
If your child gets to kindergarten and you decide that he would benefit from additional help in the school setting, you can talk to the teacher/principal about beginning the process for services through the school (in addition to your private services). This can be in the form of special education, speech therapy, occupational therapy, etc. However, there is a long specific process for getting the ball rolling on these services, and it often requires several months. If needed, the Arkansas Support Network is a wonderful resource to help parents navigate the services which the school system can provide and help set your child up for success.
References:
CDC Report on Developmental Disabilities in US
Resources:
Arkansas Support Network, 479-927-4100
Early Childhood News: What Do I Say To Parents When I’m Worried About Their Child?
Parents.com: If Your Child Has Developmental Delays: 5 Reasons Not to Freak Out.
Are you a parent of a kindergartner? How has your family dealt with this transition?
I would love to hear any more ideas that you may have!
Also, if you have a question you would like me to address in my Weekly Blog
send it to share@ChildrensTherapyTEAM.com