Where did all the playtime go?

An overextended child can miss out on one of the most crucial components of a healthy childhood… time for play.

The kids are back in school, and the new academic year is in full swing. If your family is anything like mine, this time of year also brings on a tremendous amount of decision making for after school activities. Dance, soccer, theater, piano, chess? We want to expose our children to as many opportunities as possible, but are we making sure to schedule in “down time” or “play time” with the extracurricular activities as well?

Just today, I had the activity prioritizing conversation with my 10 year old. For him, fishing club was #1 priority, then tennis, maybe add something else? And then how many hours/evenings per week should we designate for outside activities? “But mom,” he says, “I need SOME evenings to just be at home.” Hmmm… is he right? Am I over extending him with too many activities? And what about homework time? How does a parent balance it all?

Why play is important

Play time is vital for child development. As a pediatric occupational therapist, much of what I do each day is to help children develop in their occupation of play. Play allows children to use their creativity while developing basic foundational skills such as fine motor dexterity, gross motor skills, cognitive problem solving, and emotional regulation (1). In addition, the latest Clinical Report from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is entitled “The Power of Play” (August 2018). This article cites research that play does the following:

Creates safe and stable bonds between child and caregiver
Promotes executive functioning skills (higher-level problem solving skills)
Reduces toxic stress levels in children facing adversity

What is play?

AAP (2018) defines play as “an activity that is intrinsically motivated, entails active engagement, and results in joyful discovery. Play is voluntary and often has no extrinsic goals; it is fun and often spontaneous.”

In addition, one of the beauties of play is that it provides opportunity for a child to act out real world scenarios without the real life consequences. Just take the image of baby lions depicted in nature shows. Lion cubs are frequently seen play fighting or play hunting. This play allows cubs to build their strength and coordination, as well as work out various strategies, without the real life consequences of losing a battle to a rival lion or starving when unable to chase down an antelope. Like lion cubs, our children need play to practice their real life survival skills as well.

The AAP breaks play into 4 different categories:

Object Play occurs when an infant or child explores the objects around her, whether it is an infant using her hands and mouth to explore the properties of a toy, or a toddler holding a banana up to her ear and pretending it is a telephone.
Physical Play is a type of play that covers a wide range of physical development; from the clapping or pat-a-cake of infancy, to the running, jumping, climbing, and tumbling that occurs on an elementary school playground. The development of these foundational gross motor skills is crucial for the prevention of obesity, as well as creating splinter skills needed for participation in organized sports activities later in life (should the child be interested). In addition, early participation in gross motor play allows for the development of social/emotional regulation skills of how to be a good winner AND a good loser, as well as how to engage in group physical activity without harming others.
Outdoor Play allows for a variety of sensory experiences that cannot be replicated in any other manner. Sun, clouds, dirt, mud, grass, creeks, wind, cold, the list goes on and on. In addition, the same outdoor environment will change from day to day as weather changes and seasons change, creating even more diversity of experiences. And then there are the animals. Simple backyard animals create even more sights, sounds, and maybe even touch if you happen to get ahold of a slimy earthworm or a fuzzy caterpillar. Outdoor play can have tremendous benefits on a child’s (and adult’s) overall mental health. A large-scale review completed by the Institute for European Environmental Policy (IEEP) found numerous benefits of exposure to nature. These benefits included increased self-esteem, reduced depression, obesity, allergies, length of hospital stays, and even increased life expectancy (5). In addition, a 2015 study by Stanford University had participants take a 90 minute brisk walk in either a natural setting (grassland trails with trees and shrubs) or a high-traffic urban setting. This Stanford study found definite differences in the brain images of the two groups, citing lower activity of rumination in the natural group (i.e., the participants who walked in nature had fewer repetitive worry cycles than the participants who walked along a busy street). (6)
Social/Pretend Play can be beneficial whether it is completed alone or with others. When this play is engaged in with other children, it helps everyone learn cooperation, self-regulation, and how to collaborate and follow “the rules”. This type of play generally involves reciprocal interaction, as in the earliest stages of an infant smiling at an adult and then engaging in a back and forth of smiles and coos, or later stages of children playing make-believe and playing off of each other’s pretend scenarios. This learning and creating of “the rules” within the context of play with peers is a very specific skill that can only be learned through free interaction with other children, and not when the child is engaged in extracurricular activities led by adults.

Where did all the play time go?

The literature is quite clear that children need time to be outside, imagine, problem solve, explore, and simply play as children do. So why do we see such limited amounts of play time in children?

Children are getting less and less unstructured play and recess time in school. A 1989 survey taken by the National Association of Elementary School Principals found that 96% of surveyed school systems had at least 1 recess period. Another survey a decade later found that only 70% of even kindergarten classrooms had a recess period (1). This is at a time when we are seeing more and more research supporting the fact that preserving recess time in the school setting actually improves attention to task and following directions, and reduces problem behaviors (7).

In addition, children are spending more and more of their down time in “screen time.” This is not just the “evils of too much TV” from the days of old. Children are bombarded with tablets, computers, smart phones, and video games as well. Not only does this abundance of screen time reduce play time and all of the well-documented health benefits of creative and active play, but the child is also being exposed to the very real and documented harmful effects of screen time.

Finally, the reason for a lack of play time that is probably the hardest to combat is that we are over-extending our children with too many extracurricular activities. It is this overextending of our children that I will dive further into now.

Why do we over extend our children?

Magazines, school fliers, commercials, other parents, etc. are constantly sending us messages that “good parents” foster a variety of skills in their child from an early age, in order to encourage a high achieving child. Parents feel pressured to enroll their children in artistic, academic, and athletic opportunities, and not just for 1 hour a week to simply gain exposure. Parents are pressured to go “all in” for ALL of these areas. In addition, the pressure to master extracurricular activities for resume building and strong academics (including Advanced Placement classes) requires even more time for focused skill building and studying when the child IS at home.

The college admissions process is also becoming much more competitive. Parents are worried that if their child hasn’t mastered academic skills, in addition to multiple athletic and other extracurricular skills, and developed the skills of volunteerism, leadership, assertiveness, time and stress-management, etc., that their child will not get into college or not gain the scholarships needed, and thus miss out on life-changing opportunities.

Finally, we as parents are over extending ourselves. As more and more families have 2 working parents, it seems that constantly juggling a million activities is simply the norm. Many parents find themselves juggling parenting, work, caregiving for extended family members, household chores, community involvement, etc. Parents themselves live in such a fast-paced environment, that this naturally spills into our children’s lives, too.

Consequences of over extending and lack of play

Not all children have difficulties with hectic schedules. In fact, some children thrive in these bustling environments. However, for many children, an overabundance of extracurricular activities is a source of stress and anxiety and may even contribute to depression (1). A survey by the American College Health Association reported that 61% of college students had feelings of hopelessness during the previous academic year, 45% felt so depressed they had trouble functioning, and 9% suffered suicidal ideation. Several studies have linked feelings of anxiety and depression with that of perfectionism and an overly critical self-evaluation. Other studies have linked this perfectionism with highly critical parents who instill pressures to excel. (1)

Much of this stress and anxiety can be the consequence of not allowing children the freedom, creativity, and problem solving skills that are enriched through early play. When children are always under the direction of other adults, they fail to develop their own autonomy, independence, and ability to solve problems. These children never learn to develop their own self-regulation and self-determination skills. Therefore, when children grow to become young adults and are placed in the college environment in which they are suddenly 100% responsible for all of their own actions, many of these young adults don’t know how to handle this sudden expansion of freedoms and often feel lost and helpless. (2) One NPR article cites that this may be part of the explanation for an eight-fold increase in depression, and a five-to-ten-fold increase in generalized anxiety disorder amongst college students over the past 50 years (2).

Is over extending children really a problem?

I found article after article by reputable news, medical, psychological and parenting sites, debating if overextending our children is even a real problem (see resource list below). As with most things, there are 2 sides to this debate. The first side stresses the importance of home/down/family time. The opposite stresses how an abundance of extracurricular activities builds a well-rounded child.

First of all, the importance of family time is real. This evidence is found in research studies reporting that teens who regularly engage in family meals demonstrate lower levels of disordered eating, alcohol and substance use, violent behavior, and feelings of depression or thoughts of suicide (8).

On the flip side, it is often cited anecdotally that children/teens who are engaged in more extracurricular activities tend to “get into less trouble.” But in searching the literature, it seems that evidence to support this preconceived notion may be a bit hazy. Studies show that programs vary greatly by the type of sport/activity, as well as the type and quality of coaching and adult supervision, in their ability to reduce smoking and drinking among tweens. And, in fact, certain activities/sports teams might even provide additional peer pressure for underage drinking (9).

So what should parents do?

Here is where I take the literature and resources cited in this article into consideration and give my personal opinion: Everything in Moderation!

Kids need extracurricular activities to develop new interests, as well as meet friends who may not be in their class, school, or even in their city. Extracurricular activities are a great way to gain exercise, develop fine and gross motor skills, practice good sportsmanship, learn to take direction from a coach, etc.

However, you can definitely have too much of a good thing. How much is too much? Ask yourself these questions:

Is my child getting 9-10 hours of sleep per night? This is probably my biggest concern. Our children, like us adults, are not getting enough sleep. A child’s sleep requirements are more than that of an adult, even into high school. Children’s brains are developing and they can’t develop properly if there is not enough time for good quality and quantity of sleep.
Does our family eat together? I know this is not possible every night. But is the family able to eat together 2, 3, 4 nights per week? (Remember, the literature was clear on family dinners helping children in a variety of areas.) And if dinner is just not possible with the work, school, and extracurricular balance, what about breakfast? Are your children able to get to bed early enough, and wake up refreshed enough to have a family meal and conversation first thing in the morning?
Is your child succeeding academically? I don’t mean straight A’s. But, is your child generally gaining the academic concepts and foundational skills for being a lifelong learner? Does your child’s teacher have any major concerns? Does your child generally like school and feel successful in school? Whether we like it or not, a child’s primary “job” from the ages of 5 to 18 and beyond is that of a student. If he/she is not successful in this area, it may be time to cut back.
How does your child feel? Is your child generally happy, energetic, and ready to take on the world? Or is he/she moody, anxious, fearful, or tired? Also look out for physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches. These can be signs of stress (as well as a need for more sleep), and can be indicators that your child is over-extended.

So there you have it. After a lot of literature review and discussion, my recommendation is “moderation”. Now hurry up and put down this article before you are late to your son’s soccer game!